If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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