3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
