I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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