think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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