he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
