The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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