That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
