Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
