I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
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Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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