i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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