we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
