I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
