im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
