Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
