In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
