oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize