So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
