hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
