...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
