yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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