just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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