I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
