Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
