Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Ladies don't puke and tell
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
