how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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