There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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