Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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