So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
