i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
