Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize