i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
it glows. i had to have it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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