I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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