he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
