Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just had sex on a roof
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
