We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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