What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
