I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
