I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
