i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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