Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
