you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
