time to smoke my breakfast
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize