turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
