He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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