Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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