Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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