He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
