oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
