maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
