yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
