she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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