One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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