I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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