Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
