my mouth tastes like poor choices
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
