We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize