i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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