it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
