i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
