the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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