The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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