You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize